tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7499832096743150352.post7428917001015642321..comments2023-12-13T11:50:37.678+00:00Comments on Perception & Action Lab: Perceptual Learning Immediately Yields New Stable Motor CoordinationAndrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16732977871048876430noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7499832096743150352.post-68202651678030321022011-10-14T10:54:21.140+01:002011-10-14T10:54:21.140+01:00Ok, a few things here.
First, you've stuck to...Ok, a few things here.<br /><br />First, you've stuck too closely to the way I laid out the information when I wrote the paper. I included information about force feedback, number of blocks, trial types etc because my job in the paper is to provide enough information for someone to replicate the study. Your job is to summarise the key points, ie the things you want to draw attention to. So the first thing you will need to practice is being more selective; you only need to report what's relevant to the point you are trying to make.<br /><br />Second: your writing is overly complicated. Take the last sentence of the first paragraph: a suggested edit:<br /><i>Previous work has shown that movements at 0° and 180° are stable, with low variability. Movements at 90°, however, are highly variable without training. </i><br /><br />I'm going to advocate for short, punchy sentences about one thing only. Use the active form of verbs as much as possible: 'we demonstrated 90°' as opposed to 'we provided a demonstration of 90°'; it's fewer words and much easier to read and comprehend.<br /><br />You've covered the paper well; what I'd like you to do next is to edit this for clarity. Edit this to 350 words focused on describing the reason for the experiment, a sketch of the procedure and the key result. Post it to the blog with a link back to this so we can see the progression.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732977871048876430noreply@blogger.com