tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7499832096743150352.post385324101840276552..comments2023-12-13T11:50:37.678+00:00Comments on Perception & Action Lab: Perception and coordinated rhythmic movementsAndrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16732977871048876430noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7499832096743150352.post-48445497780917859132011-09-22T11:09:05.770+01:002011-09-22T11:09:05.770+01:00Minor things:
'Coordinated rhythmic movements...Minor things:<br /><br />'Coordinated rhythmic movements' - no apostrophe!<br /><br /><i>However to understand which of these is limiting performance the isolation of either perception or action is required.</i><br />OK, so the problem with this sentence is what's called <a href="http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/academic/3b.html" rel="nofollow">'nomenalisation'</a> of the verbs. You should always try to use verbs in their active form. You talk about 'the isolation of either perception or action'; you've nomenalised the verb 'to isolate' to its noun form 'isolation'. You can do this, but the net effect on the tone of your writing is to lose directness. A good revision tip is to look for verbs that aren't in the 'to do' format and try to rework the sentence so you can use it instead; the typical sign is the word ends in -tion.<br /><br />A suggested edit: "However, in order to understand which of these factors is limiting performance in a task, we need to be able to isolate perception from action."<br /><br />NB: perception is a nomenalisation (of 'to perceive'; as is 'nomenalisation'!). Sometimes they are perfectly legitimate. The question is, is your sentence more direct and to the point without them?<br /><br /><i>They involved judgement at 90° and 180° and movement at 0° 90° 180°.</i><br />Edit: "They involved judgements at 90° and 180°, and movement at 0°, 90° and 180°."<br /><br /><i>"However to assess...improved perception</i><br />This is OK, but it lacks a little flow and I'd rearragne a few things. You don't find out till the end of the first sentence that we're now talking about training; start there, because it's a change from the previous sentence. <br /><br />In terms of the order of things, I'd dod what we did in the paper and arrange things by Session, and then by activity. So keep all the information describing the judgment assessment methods together, all the information about the action assessment together, and all the information about judgement training together; I'd suggest that order too. <br /><br />Otherwise, good! You should redo this section in a new post, and edit the whole thing for clarity along the lines I've suggested. Take everything one sentence at a time, nice clear active sentences (subject->verb->object, 'The cat -> sat on -> the mat' kind of thing). Simple is always the place to start!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732977871048876430noreply@blogger.com